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Sunday, January 11th, 2009
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2:47 am - Oh old livejournal entries...
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Ive been up for like 2 hours reading all of my old live journal entries. This was actually a pretty good documentation of my high school years (even if I couldnt for the life of me spell awesome correctly and had just atrocious grammar) and overall I had a damn good time reminiscing to myself about how much fun I had back then.
But that was then and this is now. And as of now the now is pretty fucking righteous. I finally moved out of my parents and am living with my girlfriend in a amazing apartment on park ave and I absolutely love this place. To think all those years ago when I started this little blog I never really thought of my future or where id be. I guess I always assumed id be one of those 30somethings still living with their parents. But here I am. I think the 15 year old me would be proud of myself.
current mood:  optimistic
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| Friday, March 7th, 2008
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11:30 pm
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Im so glad its raining and not snowing. Spring needs to come alot sooner then it already is.
Made a badass informative speech on how much records kick the shit out of cds...and they do. Also bought some Smithereens and Weakerthan albums today, im excited for the new listening.
And also:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=858vIfKgz30
^May be the greatest thing I have EVER seen in my life.
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| Sunday, March 2nd, 2008
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10:27 pm
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I havnt been on LJ in so long. Funny thing is reading back on all these entrys reminds me that I have really horrible spelling and grammar and that I kinda ramble on in my entrys. Also I use that "This is gonna rock!" picture alot, but its alright because its fuckin' awesome.
So, ive been well. I still didn't graduate high school. But im back in full effect and so going to kick that schools ass this year. Im kinda sick at the moment, which sucks. Its alright though, all I do now is play synthesizer and guitar anyways so its not like I have anything important to do.
I also now have the greatest record collection ever know because I now have a copy of Thriller in it. Im kinda pumped about it.
My life is boring, uh, lets hang out sometime people and make it more exciting.
current mood:  indescribable
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| Thursday, July 26th, 2007
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7:41 am - Stop. Drop. Rock and Roll.
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Why hello. Nice to see you again livejournal crowd. Whats up?
Well me...im abit pissed off. Why might you ask? Well, my parents are making me pay rent. I told them I wasnt going to pay it, but after a nice wake up yelling by my mother (which is why im up writing this) I bowed down and gave them 80 dollars of my hard earned money. Because, honestly, it was 7 in the fucking morning, and I honestly didnt feel like fighting, would you at 7 in the morning?
My parents fucking suck. Who the hell makes there own kids pay rent? I would understand if I were 20 something and still living with my parents (much like my sister). But no, im 18 and right out of High School and have no idea what the fuck I want to do with my life and having my parents nagging me about rent every week doesnt help. They didnt make my sister pay rent when she turned 18 "Well she had alot more to do then you did, she was taking care of her son" Which is bullshit, all she did all day is sit on the couch and watch tv. She was like a bad babysitter, she played with her kid like 5% of the time, the rest of the time it was "Awww Dawsons Creek is on". Its all because my parents are all like "Robert, youre 18 now, youre a man, you have to learn responsibility." Its all because "Im a man" now. Fuck, im just 18. Im legally a man now, but fuck im still just a kid damnit. They also said its because they had to do it when they turned 18 too. And well, my parents hate there parents. I wonder fucking why, I know its not paying rent when you turn 18, but its things like that.
My dad had the nerve to call me a freeloader last night. I have a job, what more can he ask of me? My parents sucked as parents too. They tell me that they need to "Hold my hand" through everything I do or else I wont do it. Which is bullshit because everything they ask is meaningless shit I could give less of a crap about. Like my dad was like "Oh you need to take more showers." Bullshit I do just because you think its necessary to take one everyday doesnt mean I have too. Then he was like "What about your hair, you always need to get a haircute which youll never do if you dont tell you too." Which is bullshit again, because does it honestly matter if I get my hair cut? If I was going to go for a job interview then maybe I would, or when I decide it gets to long I will. I dont need you to tell me what to do. And this is the meaningless shit that he wants me to do. I honestly dont care.
I also got made fun of by my father and my sister constantly. I could never be right even if I was right. They always say things to me, and still do even though they all know im smarter then them, things like "Ugg, your such and idiot." "You dont know what your talking about. "You are so stupid." "You are so retarded" and as stupid and childish those might sound over the years it really get to you, because you start seeing that they really do see you as a idiot, dumb, as an inferior. But im not, im smarter then anyone in my family combined. Or id like to think so. But I am constantly put down by the very same people im suppose to love almost every single day of my life. I feel no love from my family, I dont feel any special bond. Nothing. These are just the people I live with.
Im going to disown my family, I never want to call my father "dad" ever again. For now on he is just Tom. Some jackass who I live with. Some goes with my mother, I will never call her "mom" again, she'll just be Robin. Once I find a place to move too im outta here. And I will never speak to these people ever again after that. When people ask i'll just be "Oh, I have no parents." Because well, I dont. Im just in my room now, I never leave I never speak to any of them. They have never been there for me, ive never felt any love from these people, and I never will.
EDIT-I find this entry really funny now.
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| Tuesday, June 5th, 2007
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4:15 pm
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| Tuesday, January 30th, 2007
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2:07 am - Fruity Pebbles and English Papers.
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New classes are pretty awesome. I think im going to have a good semister, unlike last one which sucked t3h ballz.
I still cant write this report. I really have a hard time with these types of things. Im trying to not beat myself up over this anymore, but I cant help it. But now I know I wont be graduating with my class, which is highly dissappointing, and im probably have to go to summer school to get the criedet for the class.
Yeah...disappointing.
But my mood is getting better, since I have classes I enjoy and all. I just wish I could tell people other things, because I know once I tell them, I myself will feel better. But if I do I risk losing good friendships. I cant wait to just go to college next year. I think im going to go Salam State College, not that far away, but far enhough away to get away for awhile. I think I really need that now. I just need to get out of this town for awhile. See what else is out there.
And I also, sort of, know what I want to be for once. I use to hate that qustion, because I had no idea at the time, and its the most presureing qustion of all time. Its like saying "Oh hey, what are you going to do for 40-50 years until you die." And isnt that a nice little thought to think about. But anyways, I think I want to be a History teacher. I think it be pretty cool. That is if I can get through high school first.
I think im ether going to quit my job or transfer to another shaws or go to hannaford. Anytime im in my shaws im just not a good or happy person. The only way I cope with it is being an asshole to everyone around me, but I hide it with sarcasem so no one will know im actually being truthful and he I pretty much hate them. I think I might go the Hannafords root, I mean i pretty much do the same thing, but i'll get paid more, and I heard there better towards there assocites.
I probably wont do that last part though, I would like to think I would though.
Yeah, I miss people. I only hang out with like 2 people all the time now. But I want to hang out with more. So , if any of you are reading this and you have nothing to do lets hang out sometime, chances are I really miss you and want to hang out with you.
I wish I had some more to say, maybe opening up like this in this sad-excuse of a blog is actually helping me not beat myself over stupid stuff.
Also, one qustion. Do I make a fool out of myself? I feel that way sometimes, like I have no personality so I at like a fool to compensate for that. Its pretty much why people at my work like me, i think. I mean, only one person really knows me there and actually understands me, but the rest must think im a fucking idiot. Im knowledgeable about my job its just that I come off as a fool I guess to everybody.
Also, am I an asshole? I feel like that also too. And even to really good friends. Like someone told me at work once was that "I was the only one who understood her" so what was my response? Asking the front end for a collective aww. Man, what an asshole thing to do. And I think I need to stop stuff like that, or else im going to become a really bitter person, thinking of all the negitive things ive said over years and beating up myself up over them. I mean I rmember stuff I said years ago and still be slighly embaressed by it (which has nothing to do with being an asshole, I know but im going on another rant).Im probably the only one who can really remember those events and what I said, but somehow im still embarresed.
I think im just listing out my flaws. I should probably stop that.
This was a fucking huge entry. But its almost 3, ive been on here since 8 and all ive gotten done is:
"The topic of my paper is Langston Hughes and his thoughts on equality in America."
Im screwed =).
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| Friday, January 26th, 2007
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12:12 am
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I give up.
Im going to bed.
I cant even begin to start to comprahend whats going to happen now. Im such a fucking loser, I dont think im going to show up tommorrow, maybe thatll buy me some time. Most likely not though.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just really wish I could scream at the top of my lungs right now, I dont think that would do any good though.
Wow, i mean, just wow.
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| Thursday, January 25th, 2007
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11:26 pm
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I think I might be haveing a nervous breakdown. The through of not passing or graduating is really fucking scaring me right now. Jesus christ why do I do this to myself. Why cant I just ask for help instead of waiting last fucking minute to do something. Ill really hate myself if I dont graduate this year. And im the only person I can blame.
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11:09 pm
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Holy shit.
I dont think im going to graduate. I cant get this fucking paper done. I have such a bad writers block right now for this thing. I have no idea what im doing. If I dont pass this class im as good as toast. I cant write about fictisious stuff. Its all too confusing and boreing for me.
fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.
fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.
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| Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007
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6:47 pm
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What a bloody awful week this is going to (and shaping up to) be.
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| Sunday, January 14th, 2007
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10:33 pm - meh
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Today was an absolutly awful day, at work at least. Talk about a day of only bad customers. Holy shit, one after another, like this one chick.
Chick:Hey, could you write my check out for 50 more.
Me: Yes, theres a fifty-cent fee, would you like me to write it into the check.
C:Yes, actualy i'll figure it out. (she adds it up wrong so I added what I thought the right amount was, so I run my amount through, it was 50.10, I think the computer was wrong because you cant get more then 50, but I could and proabaly am wrong.)
C:What school did you graduate from?
M:Im currently at Deering.
C:Well maybe you should take another math class, or they should teach it better.
In that instant my head exploded. I never thought I would get angry over a small little thing like that, but holy shit. I was fucking ripped, I was almost about to tell the lady to fuck off. I mean, its one thing to tell me I did something wrong, but when you cant even do the exact same thing you should have no fucking say in it.
Oh well. I bitch about my job too much to people who dont really give a fuck. And rightfully so. I get paid for what a monkey could do.
I complain too much.
But on the up-and-up the new season of 24 kicks a whole lotta ass.
Jack motha' fucking Bauer
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| Wednesday, January 10th, 2007
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11:40 pm
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Soooo, got new shoes, got a new cell phone, I feel like a new man. Because we all know that the phone and the shoes are what truely make a man.
Call me sometime:
766-1462
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| Monday, January 1st, 2007
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2:33 am
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So, I just had the most fucking awesome new years ever. its one of those days you never want to stop.
Im the happiest ive been in a long time.
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| Tuesday, December 26th, 2006
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11:44 pm - Ever want to hax a battery? Me neither!
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http://www.axecollector.com/aaa.html
I did find this pretty interesting anyways, as stupid as it may be.
New Year's resolution:
(abit early I know, but this is the one time im going to update this anytime soon, so might as well)
To tell people how I really think of them.
Oh, and a fun fact:
Milton Bradley was a mainer.
Thanks wikipedia!
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| Wednesday, December 6th, 2006
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12:39 am
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Maybe I was wrong about those things I said yesterday, what a differance a day and a 2 hour phone call can make. I mean, alot of those still hold, actually all of them. But right now im on cloud nine.
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| Tuesday, December 5th, 2006
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12:30 am - So, uh, yeah...
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So, right now. Im not really in a good place in life, im pretty depresed truth be told. Maybe im one of those people who get really depresed during the winter, just hiding out until spring comes along. Or it could be any of these possable variables going on in my life at the moment.
-I fucking hate my job, I cant stand it anymore, a job like shaws really makes you dislike people.
-The girl who I like happens to have a boyfriend in which she is madly in love with. (Which happens alot, I find a girl I really like and the seem to have a boyfriend. Maybe I have a kind of relationship radar.)
-School, I use to not mind it, I dont know what up with it this year though, I just feel like I dont belong there anymore. Everyday I wake up and think about ways to get out of classes. I cant stand sitting in those rooms anymore.
-College, im still so undecided right now about everything. I dont even know how o begin. I have an interview with the The Boston Arts Instatute next week, so im pretty nervious about that.
-Everything in my life has become old and perdictable, nothing exciting happens anymore. I need to get out there and meet new people. Or hang out with people I who I consider friends, but I only hang out with at school, ect.
-I cant stand 90% of people around me, I just find something to get pissed off about. (which has been happening alot, though none of you would notice since I would never say anything.)
So yeah...
Now im going to go find those none-existing new people that I need to find.
current mood: In a rather odd mood.
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| Saturday, November 18th, 2006
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1:47 am
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| Friday, October 20th, 2006
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11:15 pm
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Snakes on a plane comes out on dvd January 2nd.
Fuck. Yeah.
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| Wednesday, October 11th, 2006
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11:35 pm
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Accomplishment for the day:
Litsening to every single song on the Magnetic Fields album 69 love songs.
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| Friday, August 25th, 2006
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5:49 am
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I just watched Quadrophenia, the movie based on The Who album Quadrophenia, and I highly recomend it. It was amazing. I havnt seen a film I liked so much in awhile.
It also makes me want to buy a vespa and a suit and become a mod, minus all the pill-poping, and im pretty sure at the end it was shuning that lifestyle. But really, who doesnt want to wear a suit and tie all the time and drive a vespa.
Its almost 6 in the morning and I cant get to sleep, and I have to work at 2 something. Oh well, at least I got through Quadrophenia, and im glad I did.
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